rockford peaches

BTW my basketball team won our first game on Monday! So we're 4-1. I actually played well - I scored three times, and one was a three-pointer SWISH - nuthin but net yo. I'm like MJ without my own brand of high-top specialty shoes.

We started out so cocky, man. I remember the first game, when we still had enthusiasm and hope, and almost everyone would show up. We had a couple girls who were taller than 5'5" which is always good news in a game like b-ball, and we're all stretching on the court, flexing our biceps and triceps and quads and also explaining to me where these muscles are exactly. Then the other team walks in and it's like scrimmaging the Chinese National Team - a set of diminutive Asian ladies all of whom are under 5'5" for sure. Ha ha ha! we all laughed, amusedly flipping our hair, the glow of imminent domination already illuminating our faces and widening our vicious grins. I remember there was a lot of power-drunken high-fiving.

Of course we would win, after all, we had some tall chicks and also we were prepared to get violent. Plus a lot of us had these really official-looking terry cloth headbands from American Apparel and everyone knows how reliably these boost athletic performance.

But we didn't. Turns out these chicks were cutthroat and devoid of pity - total sociopaths. And they kept calling plays in their language that we couldn't understand which is practically cheating. I got a fist to the voicebox and a malfunctioning kidney from this neanderthal-browed point guard and that was it. I gave up and sat in the stands fingering rosary beads for the rest of the game.

We lost. By a lot. You know what they say, pride goeth before a fall. Luckily now we don't have any pride and look where it got us! We won a game! Well, the other team was late and had to forfeit, but I still had a point.